Let Me Spill Some Tea

Let Me Spill Some Tea

Why is gossiping so easy? How many of us are partaking in it and think that we aren’t because we are “just talking?” The answer to that is most of us. I was just sitting with my sister talking about a personal family situation and without even thinking about it, I fell into gossip. The crazy part is that I really thought I was just giving her some good advice. It wasn’t my intention to gossip, it just happened and it wasn’t until I was done talking and was rehashing our conversation that I even realized what I had done.

Why is it so easy to fall into gossip? I wanted to understand gossiping more, so I could get to the root of it and see where I fall short, so I looked up it’s definition. Gossip is any kind of talk about someone who isn’t present and it’s most often something we think we can make a moral judgement about, whether it be to approve or disapprove the information. I also found an article in Time where they suggest that gossiping could have been a reason that our ancestors had survived and evolved because it was like grooming and it helped them bond and I was like, what? How? Then I read some more and they mentioned a professor named Matthew Feinberg who said, “when subjects heard about another person’s anti-social behavior or an injustice, their heart rates increased. When they were able to actively gossip about the person, or the situation, on the other hand, it soothed them and brought their heart rates down. The act of gossiping, Feinberg explains, “helps calm the body.”

How many times have you sat with a friend and they say ” I have to tell you something” and your heart begins to race as you anticipate the information you are about to hear? Then when they finally tell you there’s this weird euphoria. Feinberg is right. It does calm you down. It does feel like a moment of bonding. How insane is that? It’s rare that gossiping makes you feel uneasy and I believe that has to be the reason why it’s so easy to gossip, because as humans we crave belonging and feeling good. It’s a matter of our flesh taking precedence over what we know to be right, and it’s the posture of our hearts towards the person we are speaking about as well. There have been plenty of times when I feel the need to execute my judgement of some one I’m not fond of and all of a sudden my opinion becomes a “verdict” laced with poor judgement, but when I’m fond of someone I think twice about what I say and still fall short and that’s wrong.

So now that we know that the root of gossiping is our selfish flesh, what can we do about it? I’m glad you asked.

First, we must put our flesh to death daily. Not a physical one, but a spiritual one where we bring all of our thoughts captive to Jesus Christ and flee from temptation every time it rises up. Then we must think of others as more important than ourselves, understanding that we are called to love everyone just as Jesus loves us. We should also always seek to edify people with the words that come out of our mouths because like Proverbs 18:21 says, there is power of life and death on our tongues. Even if the other person can’t hear us, we should speak about others the way we would want them to speak about us. We do reap what we sow, right? Lastly, like the old saying says… if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all.

I believe that if we can all be diligent about making these things a part of our daily life and interactions we will gossip less and eventually quit gossiping all together. Do we want to stop though? That is the question.

Until next time, you are love and have purpose.

Here’s the article about what gossip is scientifically if anyone is interested https://time.com/5680457/why-do-people-gossip/

Why Purposely Loved?

Why Purposely Loved?

Hi, I’m Jennifer. Welcome to Purposely Loved.

Writing has always been a means of escape for me and for a long time it was always very self-centered. It was about my life, the things I wished to experience, whether it be falling in love, sometimes with celebrities (yes I wrote fan fiction, I’ll talk about that in another post) or encountering a new world. Shortly after giving my life to Christ I was excited to share the Gospel and it was then that I realized that I could use my passion for writing to share the Gospel and my testimony.

In late 2019 I figured I would start an Instagram to put up quotes and scriptures and it has been the greatest experience to be able to encourage others with the Word and the goodness of Christ. However, something felt off for me because I was pumping out content but I wasn’t being my authentic self. I was pretending that I didn’t deal with daily struggles because I was afraid to misrepresent the glory of the Lord. The truth was that people didn’t need my perfection. They needed my honesty and the reason I follow Christ, they needed someone they could relate to so they can see the work of the Lord’s hand in my life, not an illusion of perfection.

That brings me here… I love Purposely Loved on Instagram but I wanted to make a safe places for someone who may need more than a caption. I want to be able to go into depth about my struggles and my victories and let’s face it, Instagram is not that place. I don’t think people are reading long posts on there. I know I don’t, especially if I’m lost in a scroll.

So this is why I’ve created this blog and my hope is to turn it into something that would comfort God’s people and touch something in the hearts of unbelievers. I would love for them to see that we aren’t much different, that the only one who is perfect is Jesus Christ and that is why we all need him. A lot of us are walking around feeling like we are unloved or unlovable and it truly pains me to know that this is the truth for many. I know that to be true because I still struggle with that too. My hope is to give the same love that Christ has given to me to others. I want them to know they are fully loved with intention by the Creator of all creation.

I look forward to sharing Jesus, The Gospel and my testimony with you all. Until the next post, please remember, you are loved and you have purpose.